Meeting day

Today is my Service Unit Meeting. Gosh, I have a lot to do! I am not prepared, have no desire to get prepared and cannot let anyone know what they need to do (Lily offered) because I simply cannot put it all together.

Disappointment today is huge. I really want to go to LINKS weekend, but I can't.

The biggest reason is - #1: Foster care. They have no desire to find respite care for us - or in this case - me.

Reason #2: Petunia cannot go either. She has her daughter this weekend, and I think she needed to see a meeting through and visit with her co-leader. I was so looking forward to this weekend. I need the break to clear the cobwebs in my garden.

Reason #3: I cannot leave my husband. I simply do not want to be independent from him right now. Am I afraid my time is limited with him? I try to find time to be with just him, but he has no desire to be with just me. He does not want to go out and take a half of day just for us, and I cannot make myself beg any more. Either he wants us - or my greatest fear - he doesn't. I am afraid of the answers - but I sit here next to him and just soak in his presence. I love him so much and hope I have not spread the garden so thin it cannot recover.

I talked with Brother Foxglove today. He is awesome. He said sometimes God puts flowers in His garden for us to nourish them so they can go to other homes and make the garden grow more beautiful there. Sometimes a flower is temporary in your own garden - but it continues to bloom on the other side of the fence. God may be using our garden to give the flowers strength and strong roots to grow in the next one. I will keep weeding and planting seeds for the future gardeners and hand in hand I will walk the path God has chosen for us. Maybe flowers do bloom on the other side of the fence - or is it a gate? Gates open and close... Is it ready to open to show its blooms? We will see...

Oak called today - she is getting us ready for the trial in a week and a half. Gosh does that scare me? Yes! She is giving us life - by getting this behind us, we can move on into our future. Strong winds may twist the trunk, but endurance makes the tree tall and proud - and it whithers dozens of hurricanes in the process. Our hurricanes continue to come, but don't oak trees have enough strength to endure the storms? I hope ours does.

I have to get ready for the Unit Meeting - maybe I can pull it off. Can I do it? YES I CAN! Oh! That is Bob the Builder - not Martha the gardener... lol

Off to weed the garden...

Cajunsis