Home again

I often wonder where home is? How can one's heart be 750 miles away and your home be where your family is? After 27 years, you would think the place you have lived the longest would also become your heart. For me, it is a place to live - a place we have raised a family - and a place I will likely die. Home was when I was young - not the physical home I lived in, but the countryside I woke up to daily. Here, the physical home is my home in a land that is too hot and steamy to enjoy.

Red and I did not even speak most of the entire trip up to Oklahoma - or back unfortunately – 11 hours each way. Well, we spoke politely but that was it. No connection whatsoever. I have not lost hope – we both just have too much on our plates to know even where to start though – and starting on this trip would not have been a good thing – it was not the time or place. It will happen, though – we do love each other and will find our way. There are just too many things going on in the overall picture to deal with this. If we start, I will cry a week. At one point, he asked me where I would like to go in March if we go on a trip. My answer? "I am afraid to hope, I have no vision of the future anymore. Do we have a future?" He was silent.

I am glad to be back - my own little garden; yes, my home away from home. The nights are longer, the garden resting. Tomorrow the children come home.

Cajunsis