No rest for the weary

I slept restlessly last night - I hear there is no rest for the weary.

Last night I woke often to think of the how much heartbreak a person must endure. Passionflower has had her share. She married young and had a troubled marriage to say the least. Tulip was her firstborn, born with a cleft lip. She was otherwise beautiful - having red hair and fair complexion. Tulip was born 6 days before cajunrose, my daughter. Passionflower became my closest friend over the next few years and we shared many trying times together. Her hubby's antics, Cajunrose's heart episodes, and Tulip's multiple surgeries to restore her balance. Then Passionflower called and said she was preggy - and we both shared the joy and concern for her family who was still in crisis. The joy of knowing she had another child to love, the concern of what was going on with her hubby and also - was this baby 'normal'. Danny was born with no complications and totally flawless - or so she thought.

Years later, I would go to Passionflower's for an overnight visit, and during the night I heard troubled breathing from Danny's room. I asked Passionflower about it the next day, and she said it was from his chest - it had caved in when he was only 5 - another sort of birth defect. She called Danny in, and - oh the fear I had when I saw the severity of his defect. After questioning her about it, I found out she was 'afraid' to take him in - for he might have to have surgery too. She turned to walk away, and I swear a demon came over me - I kicked her in the backside as hard as I could! Anger and fury over took me - for the safety of her son. I immediately made her go in and call her plastic surgeon (the one that operated on Tulip) and when the appt for Danny was going to be 3 weeks away - I panicked! I grabbed the phone and explained the seriousness of his chest and thank God they worked him right in. I loaded Passionflower, Tulip and Danny into my car and off we went.

The Dr had never seen anyone with this defect as serious as Danny's - and opted to admit him and operate immediately. He barely had one and a half inches between the outside of the rib wall on the front and the outside of the rib wall on his back! How in the world was his heart beating? The Dr said it was a miracle he was alive.

Years have passed, and we laugh about that "swift kick in the last" often. Passionflower has moved on in her life, but life has not been good to her. She was in a car wreck that broke her neck. Several operations and therapy brought back most of her mobility, but she had an anuerism a few years back, and it caused a stroke. She has recovered for the most part from the stroke, but not from her collapsed 1st marriage. Sr took her integrity - and left behind a person afraid to trust. Passionflower has been married 4 times now - and most have been to good decent people. The last husband gave her Belle when she was 40. Belle is as beautiful as a flower when she was born, bringing laughter and happiness once again to Passionflower. I have realized that she simply cannot put faith in any man, so her loves flutter off into the distance - one sitting nearby to come to her aid in a crisis, patiently being there when the need arises, but letting her independence flow. Her true loves are her children.

This weekend she lost one of her true loves - Danny Jr was killed in an auto accident. His petals strewn here and there - in the people he has touched during his 23 year lifetime. His sister, Tulip, looking about for his passion - and seeing only a broken flower scattered about. His mom, trampled in her garden, sees only the devastation the storm has left. The future of her garden is uncertain, but in God's eyes, the flower is blooming on the other side of the fence. The gate is closed, but Passionflower will need to see the latch and reach for it. The gate will easily open for her to enter the secret garden and share its beauty - for it is open at all times for peace and strength.

I talked to Rycon last night - for Danny and Rycon had a lot in common. They shared a passion for life from the time they were little children - though they rarely even saw each other. Both had the same birth defect - but luckily Rycon's is not as serious. Like the restlessness of the leaves in the breeze, they had not yet settled into their own garden. So called Rycon and cried late last night. I told him that no matter where his leaves fall, that I love him and I needed him. He is forever in my garden, and though he flutters from one passion to the next, his endurance amazes me. Comparing my flowers does not often happen, but the colors are so close today - how can I not see the likeness?

Today I have decided to find peace in my church. I will go this morning and work on the Young at Heart Luncheon and discuss with God why this is necessary. He will bring peace to my life for one more day and promises of sunshine in the days ahead. I will pray continuously for strength for Passionflower, Tulip and Belle - for them to see the secret garden in the distance and watch for the sunshine that is sure to come. I will also pray for strength for Red and I as we go to the wake and put our arms around the family to cry with them.

How much pain can one endure? I ask myself everday - and then I glance out into my garden. The petals have fallen, but they nourish the plants that thrive. The petals strewn about are part of my garden, and though they whither, new blossoms await the sunrise. The pain gets lost in the petals and blossoms ~ and suddenly is not so difficult to bear.

The sun is rising - or is it setting?

Cajunsis