Another Day

I woke up this morning and lay in bed and thought about just how angry I let myself get over this entire J ordeal. I know it does not matter to one other soul on this earth, but I have come to realize Janet (our counselor) was right - I was so darned close to a nervous breakdown - and I never even knew. Yet J is holding me accountable for things that I had nothing to do with, much less remember anything about! I was on overload for over two years, and rarely scrapping during any of that. Never have I written and angry letter at anyone before, but I did today - and worse yet, I SENT it.

Then I went to Houma to let myself unwind and not dwell on the b/s that has been brought my way this last two days. If life stops tonight, others will at least know where I stood. I am not proud of myself, but I am just plain tired of others hurting me and walking away. I have never written a letter in anger before, but today was my day. Tomorrow I may regret it, but for today, I feel like I did not say anything that was not deserved to J and I was not rude, just honest.

Where is Steve when I need him? In Brazil - this time...

I wonder what tomorrow will bring?

Night John Boy.

Today was a crappy day :-(

Yep, there ya go - I said it - it was indeed a crappy day.

1. A scrapper in my group has "hurted feelings" and I am to blame. Never mind she is acting like kid in grade school...

2. I hurt someone on the list I am on and never intended to - but we are fine now - I think

3. I went to Lonestar and ordered a ribeye medium. They brought it charcoaled - literally black and crusty. VERY crusty. They served that AFTER they brought salad soup to me. There was at LEAST one cup of dressing on that salad. And have you ever seen a burned sweet potato? It was nice with my rock solid black bread.

4. My printer is fried - thanks Katrina.

5. I locked myself out of my house and no one was awake to call to get in. The back door was locked so I was truly locked out. What a feeling. I hate bothering people - at all - much less in the middle of the night.

6. I am alone. Utterly alone. In this stupid house every night - alone. For at least 2 more weeks.

Thank God for my sister who is 700+ miles away calling to see if I am in safely or not.

That's all
Goodnight

Please correct me if I am wrong >:-(

The Gulf of Mexico and a few of its coastal states have been supplying the majority of the fuel for the entire United States for years. I hear people fussing about the price of fuel going up and kids staying out of school to conserve the fuel. The price of gas is anticipated to go over $4 a gallon! Do they not realize the entire Gulf Coast oil fields have been hit in one way or another in the last month? People, if you put all your eggs in one basket and it falls, YOU DON'T have any LEFT!!

For years, the west coast says they don't want us drillling there. The environmentalists say it shouldn't be done. The east coasters say the same. Florida? Yep, they are right there with them. Alaska? Uh-huh...

So when are will the nation start taking responsibility for their frivolous ways? Yes, we are guilty here as well, but WE LET THEM DRILL to SUPPLY our ways!! People from the 'no drill' states and those they support (or choose not boot out) must pay the price with the rest of us. Personally, if the state has oil reserves and does not let us drill, I think the people in that state should be charged triple what we are - or even more! Maybe then the majority of those places not drilling will say "Hey, wait a minute - the Gulf gets hit with HURRICANES! Maybe we need to be drilling other places as well."

Do these families have multiple cars? Just how long do we think the Gulf can support multiple car families?

Thank you to the states, who have the foresight to see what is forth coming, have decided to put America first, and save fuel. Winter is coming and where else are those in the north going to get heat from? Maybe these savings will help those cold days - and maybe those cold days that others didn't save will wake up the nation.

Get your firewood folks - you may need it. Pull out your bicycles - you may need them, too. The Gulf is out of commission and THAT is probably where your gas and oil comes from.

America is spoiled! Nations all over the world have been paying much more for gas for half the amount. Just WHEN is the nation going to realize we have to PAY for our American ways - even at a cost. Either step up to the plate or bite the bullet. America is on their knees and Americans put it there :-( Start writing your congressmen. OPEN the fields people or ride your darned bike and light your fireplace and by all means - stop complaining!

Your basket is crumbled and your eggs are shattered! Now start weaving and get new hens. Somethin's gotta give!

Rita clean up

21 bags of leaves, sticks and debris and I am finally done raking. It sure didn't look that bad! We drained to boat, the sand box, took the boards off the house and Todd moved the chiminea back and hung the swing. I am glad it was not too bad - geez! Also glad I have a son in law to help out when I need him.

There is a levee breach about 6 miles from us. The water is over the highway, people are on roofs begging for help. I have my scanner going and just kept worrying more and more. Finally, out of desperation, I had to turn it off. I went outside to survey the yard and pace raking again.

Then I decided to call Steve - I needed to hear his voice. Remember Rita is still blowing through the end of her fury. There is a hefty breeze still here... While outside on the swing chatting with Steve thousands of miles away, my wonderful back door neighbor lights a boiler under his patio by his door and WHOOOSH! The entire awning he had just built on the back of the house was lit like gas had been thrown on it! Even the plants and the eaves of the house were all engulfed in fire!

I told Steve FIRE! and immediately hung up and called 911. While I was on the phone with them, I remembered our fire extinguisher and ran back inside grabbed it and then outside with it in hand. By the time I got out there, his next door neighbor had brought his extinguisher and they were trying to put it out. The fire department arrived right away, and made sure the entire fire was out for good. Boy was THAT weird. I think that man has NO brains! Amazingly enough, and thanks to the OTHER neighbor, his patio sustained very little damage. Can you believe he was trying to put it out with a TOWEL... like flapping the fire? YIKES! He was actually FANNING it! This is not the first time this Einstein has done something stupid!

Oh, and yes I immediately called Steve back and told him it was our neighbors house - not ours on fire! I am sure he would have liked knowing that BEFORE I hung up on him :-(

Rita is gone :-)

My what a night. It is finally over though, and the day has brought power outages, onages, outages, and finally on for good. The wind howled well into the day, but Rita is finally making her exodus and we are safe once again.

The sounds now turn from furious winds to clattering choppers. You know like on the beginning of M*A*S*H*? Today a dozen or so flew over at one time going to start the rescues of those that chose to stay. God be with them - and with the ones Rita is setting her sites on. The generators in the distance fire up to keep the refridgerators cold, the chain saws hum cutting the trees, the rakes scraping the debris once again. This time, once more, we are safe.

For now I rest listening to the gentle breezes in the garden. Today, we lay and think of those in Rita's path, realizing that while the world is twirling, there are people in our garden frightened and taking cover. Not only frightened of the storm, but of the war or the famine... of what life has in store for them.

My day is over, but tomorrow is a new day. The sun will rise and flowers will bloom again, and hope will fill my heart as it always does. Tomorrow, my friend, I will think of you.

Rita GO AWAY!

My rock is gone. I have no one to look to for reassurance. I need him with me today - not in a country a continent away...

Today was miserable. The unknowing always kills me. We hear of tornadoes when the hurricanes come onshore, and the weather is worse than deplorable.

The winds picking up more and more as the day progresses. The rain starts, the winds howling, the trees bending and twisting like you could never imagine - and then it gets worse. When you are looking in the sky and hear the hum of the storm, you have to wonder if the tornadoes are right above you - out in that fury waiting for you to turn away. The horizonal rain whipping from left to right, then immediately from twisting right to left. You SEE the wind currents flipping irratically and the winds incredible force shoves you back into the breezeway. You FEEL the pressure dropping. You HEAR the whistling. Close your eyes in the black of the night, and you KNOW you could be doomed.

And all around the garden the rest of the world lives, and breathes, and laughs. Do they not know what thousands are going through? Do they not hold their breath and say prayers for mercy? Do they not know natures fury is upon us and taking our very breath away? Can they not hear our cries of fear?

In the black of the night, we rested between squalls. The FFLLLLLLTTT! of roofing tiles being ripped off the roof above us as we 'rest' beneath the storm. Nudges in the black of night from frightened animals wanting reassurance from those they trust. Tree branches cracking and tumbling and rain pummeling the plywood 'windows'. The metal clinking of gutters and awnings breaking loose from their holds, in the night we hear whimpers of a scared child. Flickers of electric sends us racing to the tv to see if we are still under the grasp of the storm upon us - or if we are finally released from Rita's fury. The return of the black tells us we may never know. The unknown is incredibly frightening.

We 'rest' and wait for tomorrow. We 'rest' and HOPE for tomorrow.

Day Two Mission

Why does something always spoil the plans I make? I woke with a start at 4:30am this morning and jumped out of bed to go see what Rita is doing. She has turned north before she was expected to and now we are in the cone of margin. YIKERS! I immediately got dressed and went outside to pull all of the rest of the stuff in. I am just about done, thank God, but I still learily watch out towards the gulf waters and wonder what Rita has in mind.

The dawn of the new day had odd colors in it - and they were amazing. As I was carrying treasures to the shop, I got a experience some incredible sites. The sunrise was one of those sites, but I also got to help a tiny gecho find a new home. I didn't think he would like the sudden attack of mail being shoved into the mailbox, so I brought him to some of his cousins on my garage door. I have about a dozen gecho's living there :-) I love them because the are peculiar looking guys and they eat mosquitos.

I also found a huge family of sparrows living in my neighbors crab traps. How cute they all are scurrying about. I had the pleasure of seeing a vermillion fly catcher in the Magnolia in front. They are gorgeous! http://www.mbr-pwrc.usgs.gov/id/framlst/i4710id.html

The best thing that happened of all, though, was my little mockingbird chattering away while I was cleaning. She and I bantered back and forth as we always do. Today she did something incredible though; I had come inside to bring something in and the phone rang. I had forgot to bring it in when I came inside, so I was running out to where I had it hanging on the Gardenia bush (everyone hangs phones there, right?). There was my little mocking bird pecking it as it rang - and cocking her head and looking at it between the rings. How funny! She is a character - what the heck will I do when she is not there keeping me in line?

Day One Mission

Today I am going to wash the house outside. My goal is half of it. I went and bought 5 gallons of bleach and a few other trinkets. We have needed to paint the house for the entire time we have owned it. We started it during a week vacation, but so much overhang needed to be replaced it took longer than the week he had taken off. We were going to finish it in our down time. That never happened. So, I decided that I will do it while he is gone. I have nothing better to do, so I will just do that. It will entertain me, right?

I actually think the sun may be helping me dry up! YAY! I am feeling better asthma wise, but I have a horribly rolling tummy. I think nerves is not good.

Hurricane Rita is in the gulf now and has her eyes on Texas. Man what a tough year this has been. I will continue to watch those waters and miss someone to chat with about what is going on.

Julie and I decided last night to cancel our Girl Scout meeting. We just think it is wiser to watch Rita than have it. In that respect, I am wondering about my cropping party we have on Thursdays...

Steve is gone :-(

He left this afternoon to go to Brazil. Hurricane Rita is coming into the gulf, so we took time and started pulling stuff in last night. Our last night together for weeks - and we are getting ready for a hurricane.

I don't really know why I hate being alone so much, but I do. The quietness is deafening and I am not one to watch tv. Heck, I even forget there is one to turn on most of the time. But alone is never good.

I have one friend that lasted through the kids. She called and checked up on me when she knew we were starting the court proceedings. I called her and nurtured that friendship the entire time we were going through hell and beyond. She has not called me in weeks. I called her a couple of weeks ago and she told me she had been hanging out with someone else - they have daughters the same age and I understand. I don't mind her moving on, but why do people from south Louisiana think it is ok to leave your old friends in the dust when you get a new one? I don't understand. I can have more than one friend AND I can still enjoy them all.

Alone is never good.

Feeling worse than ever :-(

I keep thinking I will get better, but no matter what I do, I don't. Today I felt really crummy so I just concentrated on doing something I love - scrapping. I worked on several layouts today, and really enjoyed it. I will try more tomorrow. I feel horrible - my chest is caving in it is so heavy - and I just feel wierd all over - prolly the lack of oxygen.

Steve and I went with Steph, pR and Todd to Outback. We really enjoyed the visit - they are great to hang around. pR ate so much I think she might pop!

I am also sad. Steve is getting ready to leave for Brazil. I will miss him. I will have to have a mission list every day just to get through it. Speaking of mission lists, I finished mine again today! I really think these help me focus - so I keep making them. Crossing something off makes me feel really good. Isn't that what life is all about? One big mission...

I really need to learn to LIKE being alone...

I got a lot accomplished today. I have gotten so far behind I had to start on my mission list again. My mission list is a list of what I need to do for that day. I 'punish' myself to make myself get the mission list done. Today I mailed a package that had not gotten mailed in a timely manner, got the cj finished I was dragging on, and cleaned a hot spot in my house - and a few other things on the mission list. I accomplished it all! YAY!

I am really having to push myself as I feel so bad lately. The cold I had last week has settled in my chest - not a good thing since I have asthma. It has really gotten bad again - I had to start nebulizing 4 times a day again and live with the shakes it gives me. I hate asthma :-(

I went to the crop tonight and actually did some scrapping! I love doing that and cannot for the life of me figure out why I punish myself from it. I know if I get in there, I will not likely walk out for days again. I love it SO much! I have everything I could possibly need in that room - except someone to scrap with. Guess that will come with time. I need to learn to like being alone.

Steve got his passport back from the consulate today :-( That means he will be leaving soon for Brazil. Did I ever say I HATE being alone? Guess what? I am going to be alone again :-( for weeks on end. I really need to learn to like being alone.

I Gave Away My Right Arm

Today I webt through all of my Girl Scout stuff and give it to the new Service Unit Manager for our area. I know this sounds absolutely weird, but I hate to let it go. Years and years of accumulation. None of it really important - but I put my whole heart in it for all those years...


You know, over the years I have given away a piece of me until I now feel like there is none of me left. I have grown through the experiences that have come my way, but I have also lost a piece of me every time I let go. I loved my kids with my whole heart, but when the left (isn't that what you shoot for?) they took away my reason for being here - after all, they didn't need me any more, right?

Then I had the neices and nephew. OCS asks me not to contact them - to let them contact me if they want to. I wait day in and day out for some contact - yet they don't. I KNOW they are making a new life for themselves, but don't they even think of us? Wonder what we are doing? How we are? *sigh* Do they think I just forgot them? They were part of my every being for 2 and a half years!

So I move on. One more piece of me left today with that Girl Scout stuff. One more piece of this puzzle I call me.

Does it ever come full circle again and do the pieces all come together again eventually? As I sit here and rest in the garden, I look off into the distance to try to grasp who I am and where I belong.

"Punkin' Day"

Today I had to go to the bank to see how things were looking... I balance my checkbook online and since my bank is located in downtown New Orleans - it has not been posted. I am thinking the entire bank may be under water? Anyway, I have not spent a ton of money and was not particularly worried about it, but just to be on the safe side and know I went - it just seemed like the thing to do. How odd to do that... you know, see real people about your finances? lol... Well, of course things were fine so I feel much better now :-)

After running to the shelter and talking with Brother David about things, I went to the police station and got a copy of the auto theft report. They mispelled my name. BE SURPRISED HERE!! I hate the fact that I can spell it s-l-o-w-l-y TEN times and it is ALWAYS still spelled WRONG! UGH! So, I am now officially Euvha. Anyway, one more thing down. I will send this information off tomorrow to the attorneys. Why do I feel so helpless about this whole ordeal? A man is at a safe shelter and SOME A**holes take off with his car! They steal it right in front of a cop! He had no idea, but he did know who took it after we told him.
I just cannot believe it :-( How sad.

I wanted and needed some pR time. I popped in, surprised her dad and asked if I could bring her home. She came and sat with papa and I at lunch and we played CareBear dominoes. I bet few people would ever believe that Steve and I have played dominoes for over 25 years every day for lunch :-) Well, I had found CareBear dominoes a few weeks ago and pR and papa and granny all played them today. She is learning to match colors, talking a mile a minute and we had a great time. Then pR and I snuggled and went to sleep. How I miss this time I used to spend with my very own children doing the same things. I often wonder if they even remember the time we spent together.

This afternoon pR and I cooked shrimp and sausage gumbo and potato salad for supper. Granny cut the sausage, pR ate it as granny cut. Granny peeled 'tators, pR ate them, Granny grated eggs, pR ate them, Granny added pickle relish to the potato salad and pR made raspberries when she tasted it. She said it was YUCKY! lol...

What a great day it was. I love days like this in our garden.

I am SICK of being SICK!

I hate when I get a simple little cold! It always starts my asthma acting up and it takes me weeks to finally get better. I have been on Pred now for 5 days and antibiotics for 7 days - and today I felt like garbage all day long. I tried to rest - everyone says to rest - so I did. It just makes me more tired and more sick. I lay around and have nothing to do but KNOW I am feeling bad, so that is it! Tomorrow is going to be a normal day if it kills me!

I spent some time today trying to get my reservations made today for hotels in California though I did the research I did not get even one done! I have to wait on my cousin to tell me a good day to go there to visit her so I don't pay for motels in Livermore while we are visiting the trees and her. Once those days are decided, then I can plan hotel arrangments from there.

Tomorrow will be a better day - I am ready to tackle the world!

Today was a busy day :-)

A GOOD busy day indeed!

I finally got Steve whittled down on a time to go to California! We made plane reservations for Steph, Raelee, Steve and I to go in October. I tried to call Jeremy to see if the time was right, but the little turkey wouldn't answer the phone. I tried for two days and finally gave up and made them. It is so difficult to get Steve in the mood to do something like this I didn't want him to get OUT of the mood and then put it off until it was impossible to go.

I am concerned about finances though - and yes, Steve says I worry about that too darned much :-( We have a Disney World trip planned in December, and with the Cali trip in October we will be spending some $$$. I am sure it will all work out in the wash. We do not have a huge nest egg saved for this and our VISA was charged over $10,000 by some hoodlums in Dominica Republic. We have notified VISA of these charges, but they said it would take 3 months to roll off of our statements. In the meantime that $10,000 overdrew our card! *sigh*

Jeremy was on top of the world when he found out his sister and niece would be coming. He is so excited! Now I cannot wait to go see our new little munchkin, his dad and family. We are going to see the big trees out there - where are they at? I think at Richardson's Grove? And I am going to see my great aunt in Oroville and Yuba City as well - and some scrapals! YAY!

Steph, Todd, Raelee, Peggy and Carly came over for bbq tonight. Carly didn't want to be here but she came. Peggy and I kept trying to chat with her, but she *really* didn't want to be here. I did have a nice time visiting with them all though. I am glad for days when you can visit with those you love and enjoy their company.

This was a great day!

Nice easy day today

I slept in this morning and boy was it nice. Last night I woke up several times thinking something was just not right. Not outside my world but me personally. Have you every felt like your body parts were not in sinc with each other. Your heart was beating and you were breathing but it all didn't match up and work together like it should? That is how I woke up last night - not really sure what was going on, but glad that it finally passed. I have had some odd feelings lately; I am all weepy, I am drained, I am all senitimental, I am scared, I am enormously grateful, I am ticked, I am so very happy, I am darned mad... how can you feel all of those things at one time? The New Orleans disaster never should have happened. I cannot believe it did and I am just baffled that it is really still continuing to happen.

We went to the shelter today to drop some more supplies that people sent to Steph. I am amazed every time I go in there. There are always people in such dire need there it reminds me of how lucky I really am. Today there was a lady with a 3 year old boy with a trachyotomy. How sad. He was incredibly disabled and now homeless. My that mom and grandma had alot of responsibility on thier hands. Volunteers are fewer and fewer now. People are beginning to go about thier normal lives and forget about the need that is still there. I cannot wait to get over my cold so I can go back. I do not want to give them one more thing to worry about.

Steph and I had a class today to show beginner scrapbookers how to put it to paper. I forget how much I enjoy scrapping until I am with others doing it. I need to really concentrate on scrapping more. My goal for this next week is scrap!

Tonight Steve and I went to Outback. I bought a daiquiri and guess what?? It had COCONUT in it! Thank God I am ok, but how scary! I will start telling them no coconut so I don't croak in a restaraunt and make an obstacle of myself. I had a mild reaction and could not figure out why. Then I remembered that I had 60mg of Pred in me; and I had just pumped 4 times on my inhaler about 20 minutes prior to this - and I had just taken a tiny sip. YAY! I am here to fuss about it!

We had a nice visit during our trip there and our meal. He told me he will probably be gone for 3 weeks to Rio - I know he always underestimates, so it will be more like 4 weeks - or 5. We are planning our Cali trip for the end of October :-) Now if I can just get him to get the TICKETS!!

Today I am humbled...

I WISH the trip had only been 10 hours - it actually took them 14 hours to make the trip to Georgia. I don't know the details other than T is sick and Mr M has terminal cancer. I wish I could have taken him and not inconvenienced their family.

Today S and I went to a nearby town to get some supplies. I actually did not feel like going, but I thought the break might do me some good and started looking forward to it. Of course being with some of my favorite people made thinking about it better. The trip there showed me that reality still exists - there are homes with roofs or shingles missing, trees down, restaraunts and stores closed, and insurance disaster centers set up everywhere. The traffic was considerably worse than normal and... well, things are just not normal.

I came home to my hubby who has had some humbling thoughts as well. We each had a few kind words for each other, I shed a few tears (you should act surprised here) and we hugged. We are so fortunate to have each other, our home and our 'treasured' possessions. Just how much will that mean to us in the years to come? Having Mr M here taught us that our 'treasures' are not treasures at all, they are only 'things' that no one else - but us - care about.

I look around our home and realize that while it seems like a little, it is so much more than a million other people just a few miles away from me have.

I think of my family and realize that that I know just where each and every member of my family is and thank God that again He has blessed me.

I bow my head and lift up those who have lost, those that are separated, those who are suffering and I ask that their needs be fulfilled.

May God be with you and yours.

Ok, I am feeling guilty...

I am beginning to realize how my decisions affect others. Steve and I made the decision to take in Mr M. Thankfully I did not do that on my own. However, I am sure I had something to do wtih that decision. He did need a place to weather the storm and get his footing again before moving on. He did need individual attention.

I have called a friend of mine two times to sit with Mr M a few minutes while I went to the shelter to get medicines and advice for him. P did not mind, but I still had to ask and that makes it difficult for me.

Today my son in law is driving him 10 hours one way to his friends home in Georgia. If I had not made the step to take Mr M in, he would not have to do that. I feel horrible. He is totally my resposibility and now others have had to step forward.

S and R are having to do without their hubby and daddy while he is gone. 2 other people my decision has affected.

How sad others suffer for what fulfills me. It was the same with the children. I will think about this for the entire time T and Mr M are on the road. I really need to understand why I have the need to do things like this and how it has a ripple effect for others I love.

A challenging experience

Mr M is apparenly well to do. He has had his clothes tailored for him so he doesn't know his sizes. His tailor bought his shoes. He doesn't have a clue what size he wears. He has never washed laundry. He never had to go anywhere because it was all brought TO him. His groceries, toiletries, and underroos. Mr M does not have a clue how to live life in the "normal" sense of the word.

Today I had to get his medicines under control. I felt that since he had lost everything, he needed to have some sense of independence. However, after watching him pull his pill bottle out one at a time to read, then take the pill, then start over, I thought he might not be as accurate as he could be. So, I went to Wally World and bought a pill organizer and we got the meds all strait. It was then I found that he had several perscriptions that were running out, so I had to go try to find a Dr and get them filled. The center usually has one there, but he had left for supper. I finally decided to go to the pharmacy and let them try.

It is odd how things have all changed. The pharmisist did not bat an eye; he promply filled each and every perscription and also filled the samples that Mr M had gotten from a Dr before leaving New Orleans. SAMPLES! The pharmacist did not call anyone, he simply asked how he was taking them and FILLED THE PERSCRIPTION using the hospitals name in place of the Dr! My how people have had to accomodate the situation.

I am feeling pretty rotten. I think I actually just picked up a head cold at the shelter. Goodness knows how many illnesses we are all passing around. I just hope I don't give it to Mr M.

The Dr told me some startling information today. Mr M was having light headedness and huge clammy sweats. I finally threatened to call 911 if he didn't go to the Dr at the shelter. He agreed and after they checked him, the Dr pulled me aside. He said he needed to go to the hospital, but was refusing to do so. The Dr told me that I needed to realize if he died in my care, it was not my fault - he was simply another victim of Katrina. Oh my.

So much has happened in a week, I can't even remember normal. I am isolated to home because I cannot leave Mr M, but when I do get away to the shelter to get meds and stuff for him I see how many people are affected.

Well, I need to wash and pack the little bit he has. I also need to organize all the information I have gotten on the stolen car, the medicines and the people he wants to acknowledge in the letter to the editor of the lousy paper we have here. More on that later.

Of all days...

I woke up with a sore throat this morning. Today I have to pay bills, take our guest to the bank in a nearby city to see if he can shake loose some money to go to his friends home in another state, and take him to the dr.

I really do not have time to be ill. I called my Dr and explained the situation (our guest has cancer and congestive heart failure) and he called in antibitics. I will start on them immediately and try to stay as far away from our guest as possible. I feel so icky I just want to crawl right back into bed and sleep.

I have great news! I did find 3 friends that had been missing. Thank goodness for Peggy, Pat and for Tom. They are all ok, except Tom lost his entire house. His daughter said there is nothing left but the pilings where it once stood. I offered our house for his family to come to. This is where you should act surprised.

I think a cold front came through. It is dry and pleasant outside today. Notice I did not say cool and pleasant. Cold fronts this time of year means taking away our humidity for a day.

I walk outside and think I am only 90 miles from total destruction and devastation and lots of death. How odd. How blessed I am to be here - even ill. Thank you for this day in my garden of life.

Trying to update, but I am behind

I am trying to enter my handwritten journals here so I will always remember what is going on. However, it is difficult to go back when we are where we are today. Reading what we thought and knowing the reality is not easy. Please bear with me as I try to get it all logged in.

And today...

Most of you know that I have been a Girl Scout for 20+ years. Today I looked at our Council website because I have not heard from some of my friends. I am sad to say we still have some girls unaccounted for. Peggy, Pat and I have known each other for years. I am praying for their safety. Here is the site in case you would like to keep them in prayer. http://www.girlscoutssela.org/frameset1.cgi?Other_Pages/sept05floodmessages.html#sept03

I am also looking for other friends that are missing. Tom, David, Lorrene, JD, Donnie ... where are you? Are you ok? The lists... the endless lists.... I keep looking up these names over and over. No luck. I have listed others that I know were ok. I get calls with people begging for some clue as to whether their loved one is ok...

How do I describe the loss I am feeling? I know out of just my little group there will be lots of friends lost forever and maybe never even identified.

They are setting up a morgue for 5,000 (to begin with) in a warehouse. They will try to identify people and contact family members. Family members who are strung across the country... How in the heck are they going to find family members spread all over for 20,000 people???

What do we compare this to in the price of lives? Never in my life have I ever seen or been near such destruction. Helpless does not even begin to cover what I am feeling. Never have I witnessed such bravery. Never have I witnessed such dispair. Never have I witnessed such incredible strength. Never have I shared so many emotions with others. Never will I ever be the same. Never have I will I see New Orleans like I have seen it before.

How could this happen in the south Louisiana and Mississippi USA in 2005??

I found THERESA!!

Great news! I finally got ahold of Theresa! What a wonderful thing to hear her voice :-) She actually stayed through the Hurricane Katrina (I asked her if she was STUPID) and fared rather well. She lives in Kenner (you know where the New Orleans International Airport is?) and though she has damage and no electricity they are just fine. She sent the girls up to Alexandria to a cousins before the hurricane so they are staying and they are starting school there. She said she does not intend to leave now - they are safe.

Theresa said the city of New Orleans ordered 25,000 body bags and think they may have to use every one of them and hope they do not need more. She is a court reporter in New Orleans parish so she has some contacts and has heard this from them. I am just glad she will not be one of those IN a body bag. How dare she stay? Doesn't she realize how special she is? I will kick her butt (AGAIN) when I finally see her!

I rode with Peggy to take Brian to college today. I really had a great ride. We had absolutely no trouble getting gas or anything else. We had a pleasant visit and she showed me around town. Her and Paul met there and there were a lot of memories flowing, and enjoyed them all.

Leaving Brian was difficult for Peggy and I think I know just how she feels. The closeness a mom and a son share are different than a mom and a daughter. I don't say that in a bad way, just different. There is a protective feeling a son has to a mom that you don't ever feel from anyone else... maybe that is what she is going to miss? I miss my bear hugs from Jer and I always will.

Carly is going to be an only child now that Brian is in college, too! ROFL... I keep telling her in her DREAMS - she still has 3 siblings - they will be home during breaks and summer. She pouts and says but for NOW I am an only child! How simple life is for her :-)

We have a new guest!

Steve and I got a call from the shelter that an elderly man needed a place to stay. We rode down there and visited with some of the people and talked with Mr M and the Dr on call. He explained that Mr M was too ill to stay at the shelter and alternate plans could be made. The entire area was in crisis and calling us was their only hope and alternative.

Mr M is 82. He was already so very ill, and had lost a lot of strength escaping from New Orleans after the storm. He came to us with terminal cancer and congestive heart failure. We will let him stay as long as he wants to and rest. He says he has no family and no where to go. I hope he is confused and will be able to think more clearly in a day or two. I cannot imagine how horrible this must be for him. He is from St Charles St in New Orleans. I will listen to what he says and see if I can catch any hints for relaives. How amazing this man has even survived this!

He says he left New Orleans with a guard that worked at his condominium and her three kids and another man. They dropped of the man in a town nearby and Mr M's 1969 Cadillac broke down by the bridge and a cop brought him in to the shelter. The guard left with his Cadillac this morning even though he told her no. I have tried to convince him to file a stolen car report but he refuses. I think he is afraid they will hurt him. I will continue to work with him and maybe he will see his car again someday. He said he has someone wax it every Friday. Imagine what the car must look like!

Our little Journey

Let me tell you about a girl named Journey who is three years old. She was at the shelter with her family today. Journey told S that "her piwwow dwownded and she was sad because she had to hold her piwwow to suck her thumb and she had to suck her thumb to go to sweep". She "couldn't sweep because her piwwow dwownded".

S shared this with us and it preyed on me. I finally told S I needed to go get Journey a pillow. I asked her mom what kind, size and color it was and promptly went to get her one. We decided that it was ok to be a bit different so I got her a Journey sized pillow and a royal blue pillow case. When we went back and gave it to her, she was so excited! Her whole face lit up and she told me purple was her "berry favorite color". Under the florescent lights the color did indeed look purple. She was on top of the world and I think she will now be able to sleep. I told her it was not the pillow that she lost, but it was indeed her new pillow and we hoped it helped her to sleep. She was a very happy young lady. She was guarding it with her life when we left...

This is what I live for :-)

Home Sweet Home

We made it home! What a great feeling to come home and find all our house intact. We did have part of a tree down and a little roof damage, but how small in comparision to New Orleans problems. We started unpacking and getting things back in order.

I wonder about how much I like scrapbooking. Yes it is a wonderful hobby, but do you know how much room it takes to move these books? Is it worth it in the long run? I have no idea, but I cannot imagine how much I will gather in the coming years - so I think I must consider this.

We talked to Ana and John and told them they could come stay with us. I am not sure they will, but it makes sense for them to come here nearer thier home so they can listen to local news.

In the meantime, I called my preacher and asked her what we could do to help those in New Orleans? What were we doing as a ministry? She said she was 'working on some things'. I will call again tomorrow, but I need to help in some way. I will try to organize something or I will go somewhere else and be helping others - I cannot sit idly by and watch as others pull together as at team. I wonder where I belong in this ministry? I am beginning to see I don't :-(